


I Built a Friend

by That_Adorable_Fox



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Sort Of, TW!! SELF HARM, TW!!! SUICIDE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Adorable_Fox/pseuds/That_Adorable_Fox
Summary: I built a friend with three pieces of plastic and a penI made him on the table in the denI gave him my old cell phone for a head, for a head~Janus and Remus are broken after Virgil leaves, so they find a project to keep them company.What seems good and well always comes to an end...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	I Built a Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! Uh, this story contains suicide and self harm!! Just a forewarning!!  
> Alrighty enjoy!!

_ I built a friend with three pieces of plastic and a pen _

_ I made him on the table in the den _

_ I gave him my old cell phone for a head, for a head _

~

Janus was lonely. Virgil was gone. Virgil had left. Janus never really coped with loneliness all that well. So he decided to start a little project to keep his mind off of Virgil.

He started hot gluing little pieces of plastic together, just random things. Whatever he saw fit, he glued on. He wasn't sure what he was making at first, but it became a kind of project. Creativity wasn't his department, so he was kind of at an all-time art block. He didn't mind though; hot gluing things together didn't require any thought. 

Speaking of creativity…

“Jan Jan? Whatcha doin?” Remus tumbled down the stairs, narrowly missing his head on the TV. He got up quickly and bounced over to the other side. “Ooh, are you gluing things?? Are you gonna put your finger on next? Say, how long do you think it takes to melt scales?!”

“I’d rather not find out, Remus.” Janus chuckled softly. “Besides, it's not how long, it's how high the temperature is. As for what I'm doing….I honestly don't know.”

“But’cha doing something, so you have to  _ know _ .” Remus plopped himself next to Janus, putting his face close to the ever-growing pile of glittering bits and pieces. 

“Alright, then I'm hot-gluing things I find cool or fascinating into this little ball.”

“Why?”

“Because I was bored and had nothing to do.”

“But you always have  _ something  _ to do.”

“And that something is this.”

“I mean like, job-wise, J-Anus.”

“That's not how you pronounce my name. And I guess I do have other things to be doing but…”

“But…?”

“...I just need a break from something that reminds me of…”

It was silent, then Remus hummed softly. “Oh…”

“Yeah.”

It was silent again. Remus put his head on Janus’s shoulder and watched as he glued rocks, shells, sea glass, bottle caps, anything he found around the house or in the imagination onto the bigger ball of junk.

“...can I add some stuff?”

“As long as there's no flesh, blood, guts, or gore, I don't see why not.”

“Y’mean it!? Ooooh I have this big pack of plastic babies that I summoned when Thomas wanted to buy some- OOOH and my big back of dick stickers!! I’ll be right back!!”

Janus chuckled to himself as Remus flung himself up the stairs. He gazed over the ball and set the glue gun down to rest his hand. 

_ I wonder how this will turn out… _

~

_ And we had so much fun together _

_ We knew we'd be friends forever _

_ And we had so much fun together _

_ We had so much fun _

_ ~ _ _  
_ Days, weeks, even months went by and anything cool or interesting or shiny the two found would be added to the ball. It grew bigger and bigger until it took up almost the whole coffee table. Still, the two kept adding on. They would go on walks in the Imagination, looking for shiny stones or pebbles, acorns, shells, leaves, berries, anything. Remus would skip ahead and do a quick glance-over while Janus trailed behind him, looking more intently to find things Remus missed. They captured many memories on Remus’s Polaroid camera and Janus’s disposable one, as well as on their phones of course. But Polaroids and printed-out photos just went onto the ball, so the two favoured them more than digital memories. 

The loss of Virgil slowly dissipated from their minds, and soon Janus wouldn't start crying whenever he heard Virgil’s name being spoken or his favorite song being played on the radio. Remus had raided Virgil’s room and started sticking things onto their pile of memories. Old CDs, a scrap of purple plaid fabric, broken zippers to old hoodies. It wasn't like Virgil was going to miss the things.

~~ It's not like Virgil was going to miss them. ~~

Things were perfect, wonderful, amazing. It was like the honeymoon phase even though Janus and Remus weren't dating. 

But as every couple knows...the honeymoon phase won't last.

~

_ Then I left for college in September _

_ And we wept cause we can't be together _

_ So I kept pictures to remember my old friend, my old friend _

_ ~ _

Something...shifted.

Janus stopped adding onto the ball. He stopped going on long walks in the Imagination with Remus. He stopped...playing.

His door stayed shut, firmly shut. No matter what Remus did, he couldn't get it to open. He battered it with his mace, set it on fire, heck, even rode a fucking  _ rhino  _ into it, and the door wouldn't budge. It was like there was a cinderblock wall on the other side, prohibiting it from opening to anyone but Janus. 

The last door that was like this… 

No. No! Janus wouldn't do that. Janus was his best friend, and he knew how painful it was to lose someone you loved. 

So Janus wouldn't do that…

The pictures on the ball taunted him now. Reminded him of happier times, when he wasn't alone anymore. When Janus wouldn't  _ leave  _ him alone. But no matter how hard he sobbed or how loud he wailed, the door never opened. Janus never came out of it to tell him to shut up or hug him and apologize. Never did, never will.

Then something shattered.

~

_ I came home to find him on the table _

_ With a note, scribbled out in pencil _

_ And he wrote, that he just wasn't stable all alone, all alone _

~

Three months.

Three long, forgotten, sad, months.

Remus wasn't able to function by himself. His whole  _ spiel  _ was shouting gruesome things to make other people around him cringe in fear. To make them grossed out. To make them…

Leave.

Everything was destroyed. The couch cushions had been stabbed with knives, fluff going everywhere. The TV was broken, the blinds torn down, the carpet a mess with stains of different liquids. 

But the most broken thing.

The ball had shattered. Countless hours and weeks of work, destroyed. Broke into a million pieces as soon as it hit the wall. Rocks, leaves, shells, plastic babies, dick stickers and more had all fallen to the ground. The hot glue melted as the Commons pulsed with the heat of Remus’s rage. He stomped on the pieces, shredded the pictures, burned everything that could be burned until he had exhausted himself of his creative juices and collapsed on the ground. He numbly looked around for anything else he could destroy that wouldn't use too much energy. His arm slowly extended out, retrieving a Polaroid of the two on a sandy beach, Remus holding a jellyfish in one hand and a crab in the other, as Janus carried a small basket in his arm.

He pierced through Janus’s face with his nails and let the picture flutter to the ground.

~

_ Next to him, an empty glass of water _

_ That he spilt, all over the body _

_ That I built, it fizzled and it popped _

_ And then it killed, and then it killed _

~

It wasn't until Roman went pale and fell directly into Virgil’s arms during a recording session that Janus realized what he had done. His eyes were glued onto Roman as he slowly regained his balance, blaming it on a sudden headache and leaning against the TV. Janus glanced up at Patton before making a lame excuse about using the bathroom before sinking out into the Dark Commons.

The first thing he noticed was the scorch marks. The second thing he noticed was the ball of junk smashed on the ground. The third thing…

Janus gasped and his eyes started to fill with tears. He staggered over to the coffee table and knelt down so he was Remus’s height.

Blood. So...so much blood….

The metal smell was almost too much to bear. Remus’s empty eyes stared up at the ceiling. Whether the blood was from a stab wound, slit wrists or throat, Janus couldn't tell. All he knew was that his best friend was gone.

Gone.

And it was all his fault.

  
  



End file.
